


runner up

by brokenlikeastitch



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 08:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22232920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenlikeastitch/pseuds/brokenlikeastitch
Summary: being second best sucked, but mitch was used to it
Relationships: Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews
Kudos: 59





	runner up

**Author's Note:**

> was this the result of me crying from little women? yes  
> is this unedited? also yes.

Don’t get him wrong, Mitch Marner was very happy with his life. He was surrounded by good people, he still had friends he kept in contact with despite moving away, and he was playing the game he loved in a city he loved with people he loved.

He didn’t always feel this way. Mitch grew up feeling second best his entire life. Auston met him first, but Mitch was second to Willy, and his older brother made the family prouder than Mitch ever could. As hard as he tried, as much as he tried, he would never be first choice.

And he was okay with that, he moved away, he made a name for himself. Life was good. He met a boy who didn’t see him as second best. Mitch didn’t love him, but he was sure he could grow to. Love was something fostered over time, he wasn’t worried.

Until Auston showed up and barged back into Mitch’s life. His sudden reappearance made something dark and ugly rear its head in Mitch’s chest. The bitter feelings of second best coming back to the forefront of his brain. He loved Auston, he loved him for years, and here he was suddenly after Mitch fought _so hard_ to move on, to fight his feelings, to get over Auston. But there he was.

Mitch hated his reaction to him, _hated_ it. Auston always made him so weak. And he was standing in Mitch’s doorway, saying all the things Mitch dreamt he would years and years ago. Mitch gripped the doorframe as Auston kept talking, earnestly, with a small smile playing on his lips.

**

Mitch met Auston on a windy day at the dog park when he was 7. Auston was new to the neighborhood and kept to himself, but Mitch was determined to be his friend.

In fact, he declared it to Auston in front of their dogs and their moms, “You’re my best friend now.”

Auston blinked a few times, “What about your other friends, your current best friend?”

Mitch threw an arm around his shoulder and waved his hand, “Dylan will be okay, he’s got Connor. It’s going to be you and me Matts, can I call you Matts?”

The small smile Auston gave him made something in Mitch’s chest squeeze, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

**

“Mitch, are you busy right now?”

Mitch’s boyfriend was sitting on his couch, the movie they were watching paused. But Mitch was always weak for Auston. Weak for those eyes he stared into for years praying they would look at him back the way he looked at them.

“Um, now might not be a good time.”

His face fell, “Right, um, I should go I think.”

Mitch, almost against his will, reached out and grabbed Auston’s arm, “Wait, what did you want?”

“To talk.”

“About what?”

“Us.” Mitch let out a shuddering breath and released Auston’s arm. “Oh.”

**

The worst thing Mitch ever did, he thought, was introduce Willy and Auston in the eighth grade, because that’s when he lost him. They were still friends of course, in fact, they hung out every day after school. Mitch was enamored with him, and everyone could tell. He always called Auston first to hang out, and vice versa. Mitch told him everything, Auston was his closest confidant.

And then one day he realized it wasn’t reciprocated. Auston had more jokes with Willy, spent any time not with Mitch, with Willy, and Willy knew all of Auston’s secrets while Mitch did not. On top of that, everyone called him Matts except for Willy who called him Aus.

Mitch was devastated to say the least. He didn’t stop his affections, but he toned them back. It helped reign in the hurt. He wasn’t sure if Auston could tell, and if he could, Auston never said anything. They still hung out, but it was only a few times a week instead of every day, and Mitch started to withhold all of his secrets and worries, only sharing a few that were more trivial.

He cried himself to sleep a lot.

**

“I have a game tomorrow, so maybe the day after. How long are you in the city for?”

“I don’t really have a timeline. The day after tomorrow sounds great,” Auston looked him in the eye and smiled.

“Yeah, I’m, uh, I’m looking forward to it.” The smile Mitch gave back was weak, he knew it and Auston knew it. Well, Mitch actually wasn’t certain he knew it, it had been so long.

“I’ll text you?” Auston asked, breaking up his line of thoughts.

“Oh, yeah. Same number.”

“Sweet, see you soon, Mitchy.”

**

They all played hockey, Mitch’s dad was really into it. He pushed Mitch like no other. To exhaustion and to almost hatred of the game. Mitch’s mom was always there to ice his ankles and massage his wrists. He loved his mom so much.

It seemed like everyone else got to play just for the fun, but Mitch was barely enjoying himself. His dad wanted a kid in the NHL and unfortunately, Mitch was willing to sacrifice purely for the desire for his dad to be proud of him. He was so tired of being second best.

But he wasn’t the best on the team, Auston was. Auston who had zero plans of going pro. Auston who made it seem effortless despite putting in way less time than Mitch did.

And all he heard from his dad was ‘well Auston can shoot this way’ or ‘Auston’s ability to carve guys is unmatched’. He never heard ‘good job Mitch, I’m so proud you hold the most points on the team right now’. In fact, he never heard praise from his father.

One afternoon, Auston invited him to go to the dog park, they hadn’t been in a while. Mitch tried to drown out the voice telling him Auston is only asking because Willy is in Sweden visiting family and accept the invitation. Despite it meaning he'd have to blow his dad and a practice session off.

The afternoon was perfect. They got ice cream and spent the whole time throwing a frisbee for the dogs and joking around. Until Auston checked his phone. Mitch could almost sense the ‘I have to go’ coming and tried to get ahead.

“Hey so you wanna go see a movie or something, make a whole day?”

Auston smiled at him and Mitch wasn’t sure if he was imagining the pity in his eyes or not, “I actually promised to FaceTime Willy in a bit, maybe tomorrow.”

Tomorrow would never come, Mitch wasn’t naïve.

“Yeah totally, tomorrow.”

**

They met at a dog park. The one Mitch normally takes his dog to. Mitch let his dog off the leash and laid the blanket out for Auston and him to sit. Auston takes a few seconds to start, fingers stroking over the blanket a few times.

“You have a boyfriend now?”

Mitch was a little surprised, “Oh, I do. It’s kind of new, but he’s cool.”

Auston nodded and took a deep breath, “Break up with him.”

“What?” and even though it was hot outside, Mitch felt cold.

“Don’t date him.”

“Why, he treats me good, I really like him.”

“Do you love him?”

Mitch’s breath caught, “Well, not yet, but I’m sure I could in time. It’s new.”

“Don’t date him.”

“Give me one good reason why I should throw a relationship away,” Mitch had a terrible feeling.

Auston just gave him a look. A look he’d been waiting for his whole life. And it absolutely sucked. It sucked so much, Mitch wanted to take away all his wanting.

“No,” he mumbled and backed away. He hadn’t realized Auston had gotten so close. He inhaled sharply but shakily, “No, you can’t do this to me.”

“Do what?” Auston attempted to move closer, to soothe.

“I won’t be your second choice. I saw Willy is with someone else. Whether he turned you down or whatever, I won’t be the fallback. Especially after-“ Mitch cut himself off.

“After what?” Auston prompted, a wrinkle between his eyebrows.

“After I’ve loved you my whole fucking life. I’ve been coming in second place the whole time, and I’ve still loved you anyway. How dare you come here and do this to me again.”

Auston looked stunned, he shook his head, “Do what?”

“Break my heart.”

**

Mitch left during high school, he went to college early to play hockey and eventually went to the NHL. He left and didn’t look back. Dylan offered to keep him updated, but Mitch wanted to move on. He really did.

But he didn’t block Auston’s number, and he didn’t unfollow Willy or Auston on Instagram. He just scrolled past the pictures they’d post together and tried to pretend they didn’t make him tear up.

But who was he kidding, Auston Matthews was his first love. He didn’t know if he’d ever love anyone like that again.

**

Mitch went home alone, but he did break up with his boyfriend. He wasn’t that hurt, Mitch wasn’t lying when he said they were new. He still wanted to move on from Auston, but the guy just wouldn’t leave the city. Mitch kept bumping into him over and over. Whether it was intentional or not, Mitch could never heal with all the reminders.

One day Auston ran into him, sitting at a coffee shop. He hesitated a few seconds before sitting across the table.

“I’m sorry.”

Mitch took a headphone out and nodded at Auston to continue.

“I never meant to make you feel second place.”

Mitch shrugged.

“Let me make it up to you, let me start over.” Auston looked earnest, and Mitch hesitated. What really did he have to lose? Well, a lot actually, he supposed, but Auston was always his weakness.

So, Mitch took a sip of his coffee, and nodded his head, “Let’s.”


End file.
